Dear Sirs:

Please stop hosting such a ridiculously good show. I laughed and screamed so loud on Monday night that I am losing my voice. I have two shows to do tonight, and also my regular callers are concerned/confused; not _all_ of them want a chain-smoking she-male. In short, your madcap antics and random money-wheel-induced mayhem are costing me customers. I would appreciate your attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

Cameryn Moore, Phone Whore
"making the world a better place, seven minutes at a time"